She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
