that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Green mimosas i think yes
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
