Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize