you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
