it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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