Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Screwed.edu
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
