PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
