Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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