So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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