i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
