Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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