He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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