Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
