Four minutes until I can fart!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize