I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
