member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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