I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
