It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
