this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
