i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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