I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
