Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
