My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
