D3 body, D1 cock
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
