you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
