I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm at about main and main street
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
