yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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