I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
