just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
