im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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