I think I died a long time ago.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dignity is for republicans.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
