then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize