opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I believe in your delicious
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
