I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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