found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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