I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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