So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
