Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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