She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
