Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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