i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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