??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
