I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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