I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
