I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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