my mouth tastes like poor choices
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
