at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
