I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
