OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
