the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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