After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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