i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
