watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
