I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
