dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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