Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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