He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
