yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
