It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
