I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
