Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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