This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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