I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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