It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
