omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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