she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
