Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
