i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
