Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
