you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
